Dear Mangoes

Hullo C:

N.B.: Yameng a.k.a. Mango, I did not mean any harm to you or or fellow mangoes but I'm not referring to you but to my fellow "fiends" (not a typo): Thai mangoes.

How my evening went:
Me: Can I eat this?
Mum: Sure
Me: Is this the type of mango I'm allergic to? The one that makes my throat itch? Or was it tongue?
Mum: It was your throat. Eat it.
Me: Sure.

Oh my good lord I have to RE-SIT MY PDHPE EXAM. WHY? Because the staff thinks it'll be better? But I would be happy if:
a) it was a PAPER exam (no lags)
b) not blooming C4. LAGGIEST COMPUTER ROOM EVER.

Too stressed this morning so I left my dream to fade away...well anyway I had this dream about Mr and Mrs Slenderman owning this professional first class private train and offering my friends and I to go on it to go to Central station since we missed our train. You know how it ends.

A spider, as large as my palm, is currently crawling around the ceiling above my bed like a drunkard. Keep calm. Calm. CALM. CALMASDFGHJKL.

Surfing was great today :D managed to avoid jellyfish not get MUCH water in my eyes stand up my board for two seconds AGAIN. I was actually not going to get any water in my eyes today or any water in my ear. Unfortunately, while stand on this huge board tryin to get some balance on a wave, my lovely friend's board drifted and clashed right into me. The scenario went a bit like this:

*wave in sight*
*paddle paddle paddle*
*on wave*
*hands on board, lifting self up, placing feet in position*
*stands*
*loses balance*
*friends board has now clashed*
*tumble tumble tumble, more than tumblr*
*underwater for three seconds and water has now accumulated in ears, nasal cavity (pain) and of course the eyes and the more sand in my swimmers*

I hate Martin Green. Why did you have to do what you did? Why are you part of the school syllabus? You aren't even important. Made me lose a mark in my science exam *hmph*.

HEY GUYS do you want to know what my mind was thinking during a silly mistake during my maths exam? (BY THE WAY if I failed this test and did not get a good mark I CAN NOT GO TO FRANCE D: *life over*)

*looking through sheets before exam and sees a sheet with a graph and there's a huge space on the top end of the graph*
Me: That's right. I knew it. We need to draw a parabola in the exam.
-In the exam-
Me: *stress stress stress. rush rush rush. think think think* "OH HEY look: y=x^2. I KNOW. I'll use this easy method of finding the gradient and two points and drawing on the line. Hmm. So the gradient is 1 *myself now: oh lord it doesn't even follow the y=mx+b formula. It's using x^2. Poo head* OH and one point is (0,0) the other is (1,1) and the next could be, to double check (2,4) WAIT WHAT? That's not a straight line. Oh don't be silly Jade. You must have done a simple mistake in your head. Just draw a line and ignore that coordinate. But try again in case. There's also...(3,9). WAIT I KNOW WHY IT'S NOT A LINE. Why? BECAUSE YOU ARE CALCULATING IT WRONG. So yeah just draw the line.."

For goodness sake you bum.

Right now the song stuck in my head is the "You got a Friend in me"~ Toy Story. Is that what the song is even called?

Did I even post yesterday? Well if I didn't...I'M TRULY SORRY. PLEASE ACCEPT THE MOST SINCERE OF MY APOLOGIES.

But of course.

My apology is ALWAYS accepted.

Below is a picture of a poisoned halloween toffee apple. Please use your imagination and pretend there's a bite in it and it looks toffee-fied and sugary and poisonous. I didn't have the time to make a toffee apple (shame I'll never try them) so I got an apple from Woolies and combined with imagination and ta-da...world's best apple

Mondays

Rant: BUMBLEBEE POO WHY MUST THIS BLOGGER APP NOT SAVE A DRAFT OF MY BLOG BECAUSE I wasted time typing up a blog ALMOST finished and then I switch apps to double check my dream and. it. was. all. gone. FU--DGE.

Hello C:

WARNING: Alternative for swear words are countlessly everywhere in this blog post due to overloading stress levels and annoyance so straight to the point: I am not speaking utter rubbish.

Stress is EVERYWHERE. What did I do when I realised yearlies where a few hours away. Of course. Watch the tele. Blood-d. Hell-ephant. Jade. What. The. Poopsticks on a fluffy chair.
Well I think Toy Story 3 was FANTASTIC and so was Border Security. Haha. Hiding cocaine under a wig. *tsktsk*

I'm so sorry for not posting yesterday as you can see I was not in a good position to do so. Yes I would be a grizzly bear if I could and hibernate. Eat. Sleep. Eat. Sleep. But of course I am "priviledged" to live this life. Today I woke up at 2pm (yay) and I spend the whole day having my work in front of me then finding that post office animal books are completely interestingly stupid so, of course, I read the book aloud and commenting on their every sentence. "Wombat asked the kangaroos what the secret was. Wait. WHAT. WOMBATS CAN'T TALK OHMYGOSH. KANGAROOS CAN DEFINITELY NOT SHARE SECRETS. DOES THIS AUTHOR THINK IM DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THY WOMBATS CAN TALK? Of course. Hmm. Next the Kangaroos showed the Wombat where the baby kangaroo was. THE WOMBAT IS GOING TO KIDNAP THE BABY. SHOOT DUNE BUGGIES ON A TIME WARP. ABUSE. Next book about cockatoos isn't it? Well let's look at the pic- You are an ugly cockatoo. ABSORB THE INSULT."

So the moral of the story is: Don't trust wombats. And don't you EVER let Jade read books to kids.

Had the best *cough* dreams ever. Imagine this: Your art teacher is a terrorist with a futuristic laser gun out to murder you for not doing well in exams and you get trapped in the science classroom with no more than a table to hide under while the lockdown bell rings in your ears. Next scene is...imagine this: Art gallery slash observatory area. Pretty amazing. Then you are a known fugitive. For what??Stealing something that made you nationally wanted. But you didn't AHA. Story starter. Your teacher splits the class into two groups and of corse you were put in this small group of six students who were planned to be shoved on The Rocks Resort. Doesn't sound bad does it? OF COURSE BOT. Arrive there la di da. Pool. Cool. Outside shed for potty. Not cool. Large room. Fantastic. The exorcist creep trying to kill you and your mate. Not so fantastic. Locking yourself with your mate in the outdoor potty and it turns out the creep is with you. Very very bad.

Mum found a hat rack that used to be mine so it's around 14 years old now. Quite the beauty except sadly two of the hooks broke off so now it looks weird and holds less hats D:

Eleven hours till yearlies. Good bye Jade.

And good bye to you guys too.

P.S. Attached is a picture of the Australian sunset outside my house.

Quote: Fugitives

Hey fellow fugitives :)

Any skydivers who had survived out there...what is the chance that my parachute fails or I spin out of control?

Stress overload: exams on MONDAY. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. Total desserts today > 'real' food.

Yesh I am getting night contacts :D

Quite the epic dream last night. Four things I've learnt from it:
•If the people who invite you to a tea party in their garden are a moderny-ish-mad-asian-hatters they will usually be evil people
•Inside double decker buses there are actually only five seats including the drivers'...THE SIZE IS AN ILLUSION
•Rain makes dreams feel humid
•Butlers and maids are very up-to-date-with-news people so if you are a fugitive, dream or not, don't accidently start a conversation with one because they are actually secretly calling the police literally behind their back and you don't know until random bullets fly out of nowhere and you have to do this epic roll and flip over the table and roll it to the doorway and run out of the garden before you get shot and die but you manage to make it so you end up at this white classroom to have a refuge in and I just made another LONG sentence...

I can't wait for Toy Story 3 tomorrow ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER.

A really good quote I drew today and it is in the picture below :) Its by C.B.Umbra. Ohh I also like "You are blind when everything is crystal clear"~C.B.Umbra

See you guys next tomorrow hopefully!

There's Another Bee

It's in my room...

Hello readers :D

I take back what I said. I have more exams afterwards D: I lied...You know that deep deep down inside a lying person is A BIGGER LIE. I'm joking :D. Well I had a nice short little dream last night. It was basically:

Person: "What are you looking for?"
Me: "Koalas"
Person: "There are no koalas here"
Me: "Oh"
Person: "So..."
Me: "I'm allegric to koalas" (in reality, I'm actually not and really want to hug one before they become extinct)
*koala pops out of nowhere*

It was so BLOOMING hot today. Oh and today was a day that I doodled my one true love. Hats. Everywhere. Except the photo I posted was the doodle with the Mad Hatter. He's a journalist in reality. And yes I was learning about global inequality.

FUN FACT: I'm claustrophobic.

Bit short but I'll post something more interesting soon after all this stress-pressure goes away. Bye!

Predictable Bees

Hi guys C:

NEWS FLASH: I may be getting night contacts. I like every bit about it except for the part where the hard contacts are supposed to pinch the living daylights out of your pupils. If they can even see daylight then.

Woo hoo exams in a few days!! ...D: *What the .. is wrong with this kid?* Well you can't help but be excited that the week afterwards there are barely anymore tests and you could just be procrastinating and nothing bad will happen. Being stressed means more desserts. Like how I wasted money on this rip off magnum but now it's one of my favourite icecreams. Ahaha. I'm eating a bueno now. Writing my blog instead of my assignments.

Halloween is coming up soon and this brings up a great flashback. I had a dream on the night Of halloween I think three years ago where in the future there is going to be an accident and zombies will come and attack because the virus becomes really strong and I just realised this sounds like Resident Evil. But then there's this question: WHAT IF I'M PSYCHIC?

I've always wanted to go to a fortune teller with tarot cards to tell me my fortune and read my palm. I find the superstition interesting.

Oh gosh there's a bee in my house. I locked it in my mum's room. Thank god. No surprise attacks. No no no.

I have no relative pictures for today so here's a recent picture of the clouds. WOO Christmas soon. Yes I think you know what I wish for...

-CHILDREN, DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE-

...Santa's decaying body to be finally revealed from my blocked up chimney.

Shoot. Now it has escaped. (Not the corpse, the bee. THE BLOOMING BEE)

Bye bye :D

Dentist and Shadows

NB. Posted on 23/10/12. Sorry killed my blog. Looks awful now.

Hey readers :D

Another question for you: If some animals are limited to some colours, how do we know that the shades and tints (black and white) are just as being colour blind to that particular colour? :O Prove me wrong please, just something I though was a rather interesting question.

My cupcakes were a SUCCESS last night. The oreos kinda died. And I realised that I baked Pink Ribbon Cupcakes a day late. Although when I pulled them out of the oven they all had pink tumours in their centre  That's what happens when I don't have an electric mixer. It's okay. People think they're there on purpose for breast cancer awareness.

I hate the dentist. I had to go there today instead of surfing D: Well yes I love Max Brenner and it's a few streets away from the dentist. Of course i don't go there and eat before the dentist. I go straight after.

The weather still isn't good. Always too sunny or too rainy but hey, it's Sydney's weather. You can't argue with it's indecisive mind.

Did I ever tell you that I watch white collar? Well now you know. It's all Bernice's fault AHAHA. I've also been to New York and my cousin is going there soon and I really wanted another hat so I've been researching etc. Last night my dream was about all those three things: New York, White Collar and hats. It's pretty obvious what happens especially if you mix them all up and my school together as well, for a twist.

Shadows are amazing. My one is called Bob. For future references.

Short post today because it's pretty recent well have a good day guys. Off to have some froyo!

Rainbows

NB. Completely ruined my blog. Posted on 22/10/12

Hello again C:

It seems like I might even post every 1-2 days. AHAHA well wouldn't that be...great?

Question: Can anyone imagine a new colour right now? I've always found imagination interesting.

Sydney's weather was like, "I love a bit of cold rain and a boiling sun so why don't I just combine it so I can make an ugly rainbow? Yeah I'll reveal the sun so it can blind Jade when she leaves to the bus just because I think sunlight is cool and while she waits it's going to be super windy and rainy and when she goes into the bus its dry and normal. I think that's a great plan."

Thanks weather.

Sydney's weather is just like the Old El Peso advertisements...Why don't we have both?

Today. I. did. NOTHING. I woke up late as usual, pressing the snooze (my personal record) eight times with three alarms and oh GOSH I have exams next week, but I'm not here to bore you with the gory details of geography. Did I ever tell you guys that I love hats? Like really EXTREMELY adore those little things? THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. Black fedoras, straw trilbies, red sun-hats ..Well this came up on the idea of Christmas presents today, a bit early but the shops already started a couple of weeks ago. Christmas...this year is I think the first time I spent Christmas in Sydney in about seven years. It's been shared among Surfers Paradise and New York so this year the tree will finally leave the ugly garage :D

Yes I DID have a dream last night. Well I think I was a bit stressed about how I would cheat the dentist tomorrow so I could go to Bondi so that's probably why my dream was beach-themed. But it was dead boring so I'm going to tell you guys about this beautiful dream I had a while ago. It was doomsday. There was only like an hour till the 22/12 so everyone was celebrating at Martin Place until, yes, so unsurprisingly, fireballs shot out across the ground like bullet bills in Mario Kart. As you can guess my family was "missing" while I just happen to survive even though I'm the slowest runner in my grade. These fireballs were as big as trucks mind you.

I think it's more special if I leave it where the plot unravels in the story.
"JADE. STOP. YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT WILL HAPPEN."
"Well I send my most sincere apologies to everyone but my dreams are not secretly special any more if I tell everyone EVERYTHING or else it'll become cliche and then everyone knows...'THEN JUST BEFORE THE EARTH EXPLODES, JADE SAVES THE DAY' sort of thing so I'll leave you to imagine it."

N.B. I just ADORE travelling and hats. Best if all: Travelling to Antarctica with a silk-lined fedora listening to Coldplay, eating chocolate, reading novels and afterwards sleeping after a nice hot chocolate from Starbucks. I think that would be fantastic.

P.S. It's great if you write down dreams. Simply fantastic story ideas.

I must go bake oreo, strawberries and cream cupcakes (late, yes) so see you guys hopefully tomorrow.

First Post

NB. Posted on the 21/10/12. Completely killed my blog sorry.

Hello fellow reader C:

OH YAYY you're one of the first people to read anything from my blog. First post so I'm no too sure what's going to happen to my blog. I'm probably going to post once a week, but I'll see how it goes. Let me just introduce myself:

Hi my name is Jade :D I'm from SYDNEY and I love sleeping, owls, chocolate, purple, art and reading. N.B. I'm a joker who loves puns, lame or not. Hopefully my blog isn't going to become another boring one so...good luck Jade.

Just had an interesting time back to the last term for school. Learnt some new things: Surfing- and how to gradually ease the pain of salt water in overly sensitive eyes. Lately I've come to realise that Sydney's weather is extremely...moody? Had quite the dinner last night ahaha I obviously never had been next to a fight before WELL it all started in my favourite restaurant sizzler, eating my favourite cheese toast with a cup of my favourite drink-water (No I'm joking, I love juice heaps more). Well let's make it like this: there's B1 & B2. B1 is waiting in line for icecream. B2 pushes in but didn't know B1 was waiting. B1 swears and is you know the usual crazy-mad-upset sort of mood. So I'm just like HEY I'M GOING TO GET MY LOVELY PASTA NOW but of course it was my luck that my seat was right next to B1's seat. Ahaha :C 

Well B2's mummy confronted B1 and oh gosh it was exciting because i've never seen a fight before-just that innocent. Okay so they started to actually, physically and dangerously fight. Oh but then there's me just chewing my toast and turning around watching them do so. I got bored so I faced my family again and then soda was poured all over my brother and I so I'm just ignoring the fact that my cardi is all sticky and continuing eating my pasta.

Ahh and I visited the Sydney Observatory for the FIRST TIME on Friday and it was so interesting (I bought some rip-off solar shades so I could just stare at the sun all day). Another thing I found out was that there is going to be a solar eclipse in Cairns the day after my ESSA exam :'(. 

First time learning to surf on Tuesday C: Me and my over-sensitive eyes and my hatred for water in my ear D: Which was odd because I swim every week but this water is salt water :P Tried to stand on the board but when i did yay...crashed right into the ground with water pouring in my eyes and ears ahaha great job. But could just kneel like some retard all the way to shore LOL. Lots of homework this week and I'm just procrastinating because that's my job.

Max Brenner again on Friday (I really REALLY need to organise my blog posts) and missed the train UGH CITYRAIL TINCAN INSTEAD. Had delicious waffles :D

DREAMS. This may sound really odd but I record dreams (YAY another crazy blogger who just finds shadows and dreams interesting). Lately my mind forgets my dreams way too much D: but the best dream this week was...ahh well there are different types of papers...three of them and there was this race in egypt where you had to try and find the best of those papers and if you had this particular kind of boat you get to go to France (yes France because my school is just that AMAZING -sghs- and we get to go to FRANCE next year yes FRANCE :D SO EXCITED) Well I ended up in France and was a pickpocket there but then I forgot the rest :P I'll post a dream every week or if I don't have any I'll post a really good past one.

Why did I call my blog Don't Forget (Toffee Apples)? I honestly never tried them BUT I WILL SOON.

Well bye guys and I just realised how much I wrote...on AND off topic.