Life is Pretty Good... At Being Life

Screw you science and your three branches of physics, chemistry and biology. Eat a fudging cheese banana- biology ESPECIALLY. YOU FISHING TRAITOR. 

What else is a lie? First Aid Certificates. It's such a fishing duck. 

I've been through a lot of experiences. Let's say it connects to blood and colour and abnormality and breathing and hearts and brains and clots and veins and arteries and fudging pho (asian crap) and breathing and heaviness and work and Wollongong and weariness and headaches and dizziness and mutual-grounds-God and houses and sunflowers and houses and money and no money and New York. 

WHY DO PEOPLE JOKE LIKE DEATH SYMPTOMS SORT OF JOKE. 

I appreciate eyes. Eyes because you can tell if you are screwed up or not. 

Life is pretty screwed up now I'm telling you. Forty three is an odd number. They're meant to be fishing lucky. 

Do you know what else is screwed up? My fudging psychological state. Oh and my emotionlessness. The oddity of the eldest daughter just watching someone die for a bit- I don't know... Are you supposed to cry or something? My sister cried but I talk about sunflowers. Like the one I recently bought that was MEANT TO LAST FOR TWO WEEKS BUT IS ALREADY FISHING DEAD. 

Screw you female reproductive parts and areas of gaseous, repiratous and photosynthetic exchange. Giving death away so easily. 

Then there was this extremely strange yet distant "bang" that rings in your ears and then he closes his eyes and the atmosphere is so strange an distorted where everyone's heart just stops- then continues to talk about us. They said it was an "angel" or something that warned us. I just found it weird how when they called for an ambulance they panicked and stalled and I'm just standing there and saying in my head "all you fishing do is pick up the phone and dial triple 000". Like, who walks around figuring out their feelings.

And why does everyone want me to be a fishing doctor or some- oh wait now "HEY JADE YOU'RE GOING TO BE JULIA GILLARD"- hey no what. Hate politics and the only part of the word "medicine" I like is the part about psychological and neurological health an state. 

And then when they were trying to do DRSABCD and one says "doctor Jade". Don't push it please. I'm no doctor. 

I have a phD in realism and I'll stick to that thank you very much. It may be a compliment and I will take it as such but please don't feed me horrible noodle soup things asians are supposed to like and tell me to fix him. 

Okay I'm sorry I feel bad for getting all negative about the "BIG" future but I'm just ranting about biological and social problems. And why does the ambulance take ten minutes to come. 

Okay let's just get to the point- life lesson: preparation and patience are the keys. 

To what? 

Just pretend Stroke I. Yes and Stroke II is the problem. 

Bright as the Sun

I really do support sun protection. The cancer council? Yes, one of my favourite charities. Trust me, I love hats (well, of course now!) and sunnies...and that solar eclipse today, you are wondering?
Boring.
Why?
Darn Sydney can't get the full "Ring of Fire" amazement. So I would've had to apply more sunscreen if I had wanted to hog the telescope. What else relates to the sun? The one and only star in our sky during the day?

Please pretend the Edison invention is a sun. It helps.

That's right. These beauties. The lovely causes of allergies and other symptoms of such: sneezing and itchy eyes. Which I willingling bought for a little chap who is allergic to pollen- me.

These are beautiful Australian sunflowers. One day I will grow a whole garden of these. I'll sit in the sun, plant some more sunflowers until I get a sunflower kingdom, eating sunflower seeds (yes sunflowers, I'm exploiting you and your future generations) and get a bunch of UV rays absorbed because by then I'd use up the world's supply of sunscreen.

Then I get skin cancer and die.

Where? Hair it is

Is it normal for your hair to begin to get very frizzy and curly as you get older? Because mine was dead straight when I was like five (but I had like long hair)

AHAHA it is so funny. Or maybe as it gets shorter, it is frizzier... O:

I recently (in fact, last night) had a dream about our world, controlled by man, can change night and day and then one day (ha, it was all happening at night so that was ironic) some nutty put the earth too close to the moon and then the earth started rotating. Quickly. Like the stars were blurs and there was no sun (that sun of a bitumen just ditched me) even though if that was true there'd be no moonlight and tides and I was on the coast where the waves were just going on and on and on that I knew the moon was fine. But while this happened an assassin was loose somewhere in my house who was actually a homosexual partner of our old house...keeper? LOL I had good hiding skills. Seriously, no one can find you when you hide under a pile of clothes with your head poking out.
Life inspirational lesson when meeting assassins: don't do what i did
I liked that dream. But it made me hit my head on the ceiling as it went full turbo on rotating.

No serious damage done: just a few upside houses and dead bodies.

Thanks guys. I'll be posting every fortnight. My next post is and will be redeeming,

Jade

Image: my friend (right) and I on a cruise in Paris (NOOOOO...) it really wasn't cold AHAHA

(curse those iphone flashes *shakes fist*)

OH I HAVE TO RECOMMEND SOMETHING. best. paninininini. EVER. YOU GUYS HAVE TO GO THERE. In france, outside the musée de pompidou (was that it?), there is this little café. When you take the first left after walking towards the right of the museum (away from the colourful fountain), keep going straight. After the nut and chocolate store is the little place that sold this chicken panini. Charcu- or something.

You will NOT regret it.